How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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