:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
