I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
