Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
