i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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