i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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