I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
