We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
