Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
