We're facebook friends in real life
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
