Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
