Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
