nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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