You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
