just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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