Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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