That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
