Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Are my feet made of real feet?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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