i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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