This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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