Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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