found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
