Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
God I need to hump something, right now.
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