We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
