You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
