Me. At least after what I've been through.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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