bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
