He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
