would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
