he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
