I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
