What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
