I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
