every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Farmville is her only friend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
