We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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