just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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