it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
