I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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