Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
