marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you traded sex for a burrito?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
