You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
