DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
