One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
