You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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