The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
