youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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