i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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