I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
