just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
