So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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