So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
